Relationships...

This is a bit personal, but I felt the need to write about this because I need to get my thoughts written down. Hopefully it will help me (or you if you’re struggling with this) to figure all of this out, or at least make me feel better about the situation.

It’s not really a bad situation per se but it’s difficult. It occupies a lot of my mind right now. I wrestle with “what ifs” all day and night. Thinking over the “what ifs” is like being trapped in a black hole that you can’t escape. Even telling myself that I should just forget those things and go with the flow and see what happens, there’s always a “what if” springing into my mind.

I’m currently in a situation where I am talking to and hanging out with a guy a lot, which is great, but we’re both unsure of whether we want it to go anywhere or not. I’m not even sure if I have real feelings for him. It’s the first time that we’ve both considered seriously dating someone and we’re both scared. I know that for me - I’m scared to hurt him. I’m scared of not ending up loving him and he loves me. I’ve hurt someone’s heart before and even though he wasn’t boyfriend material at all and I knew it would never work out between us, it was so hard to let him go. It’s so hard to forget someone after talking to them almost non-stop. It’s hard to stop thinking about them full-stop. 

I think he’s just the first guy I’ve been interested in that I feel completely comfortable around. I can be myself around him and that’s so important to me. And that is one big reason why I don’t want to let this go. But what will happen if we both don’t develop serious feelings for one another? Will we stay friends? Will we still hang out? We will still sit next to each other whenever we have the chance? Will we still text each other 24/7? 

I guess the unknown in relationships in general scares me. Let me know your thoughts...

Hxx